07.27.18

You are not timeless.
You are relevant.
Everything that everyone does is pertinent.
I know.
I know this.
Empiricism.
The passage of time.
Days and months and years.
I understand.
Cells and protons and electrons and choices.
I understand how it works.
I am real, I see things and I comprehend them.
Within the most basic levels of energy, things exist. Infallibly.
We’re all made from stardust and we function…
Humans are complex organisms. Humans are individual.
Humans are flawed.
Mentally and biologically no two humans function the exact same way.
Some may even be considered “broken” on some level.
Broken is a relative term.
Everything is relative.
Humans can be wired “incorrectly”, function “incorrectly”.
Everything is chaos.
I’ve been told that I think about it wrong.
Does “wrong” exist?
Humans have laws, behavioral patterns, a concept of normalcy.
I am a human, I drink water and my heart pumps blood.
I am relevant, I am relative.
I do not believe I am timeless.
I do not believe I am irrelevant.
I know that my existence affects the world, as the world affects me.
I know that both my existence and the world are constant.
I do not wish to abandon the world.
But I can’t convince myself it isn’t broken.
Why do we do the things we do in the way we do them?
Why do humans only work these few, constant ways?
I don’t believe I am special.
I know I’m not different from any other human in the way I function.
So many of the humans function the same way.
I think so often about being different.
I don’t want to break things or hurt anyone.
I want to function differently.
I want to exist differently.
I do not understand why I think the way that I do.
I don’t understand how other people think the way they do.
Everyone is the same, everyone is unique.
Is the world wrong?
Is every human wrong?
Am I wrong?
There’s something in the wiring, always.
I think I can see it.
I do not understand.
I do not know.

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